Several years ago I was relaxing on a sunny hillside at the Northwest Fall Equinox Festival. The ground was still warm with summer’s heat and autumn’s soft, golden sunshine was baking my bones. As I drifted into sleep I thought how marvelous it was to be alive at this time of year.
A hand pressed down on my shoulder. I jolted awake and looked up into the grinning, vaguely crazed face of my friend Blythe.
“What happens when you die?” she said.
I swallowed the obvious answer of “I haven’t a clue, but if you continue to wake people out of a sound sleep with that question you will soon find out,” and just stared at her.
Blythe has a closer relationship with death than most of us. Over ten years ago she was diagnosed with a weird form of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and decided against treating it with radiation and chemotherapy. Instead, she follows a spiritual path that includes a regular quigong practice. She’s doing just fine–even better than before her diagnosis. Her search has given her an inner peace and strength.
“I’m asking everyone I know and writing down their answers. I think it will make an interesting book,” she continued, waving a notebook over me.
No shit! This is the million-dollar question, and the main raison d’ etre for religion. Talk to ten pagans and you will get at least eleven different answers to it. Even Christians haven’t quite got their story straight. Some believe in a literal Hell, some don’t, and some will tell you that Hell is the problems you make for yourself right here on earth. Some say that if you believe in Jesus you will get your body back after you die and live happily ever after; some have a more abstract idea of Heaven. Most Christians believe that this life is your only chance at Heaven, but I know of several that believe in reincarnation.
Muslims also believe in Heaven and Hell.
Hindus and Bhuddists reincarnate until they reach Nirvana.
Classical Judaism posits an afterlife or “world to come” known as Olam Haba.
Pagan afterlife possibilities include The Summerland, Valhalla, Hades,coming forth by day out of Duat—the Egyptian underworld, and/or reincarnation and Nirvana.
Atheists say that when we die we’re compost, and Agnostics don’t know.
“I’m not sure,” I replied.
“So what do you think happens?”
I gave her my best guess.
My initiating High Priestess once told me about sitting on her Grandfather’s lap as a little girl and asking him what happens when you die.
“I don’t know, Patricia,” he replied. “I haven’t died yet. But let’s make a deal. Whoever dies first has to come back and tell the other what it’s like.”
Years later, Pat was studying for college exams late one night. Half asleep and half awake, she looked up and saw her Grandfather standing in the doorway between her room and the hall. He smiled, gave her the thumbs up gesture, and disappeared. When she phoned home her Mom told her that he’d died just a few minutes ago.
Death is the final mystery that we all must face. It is our deepest fear. It simultaneously binds us together and tears us apart. Stories like Pat’s and countless others hint that there may be an afterlife, that we need not be afraid. But they are only hints. Trapped as we are on this side of the veil we can only imagine what lies on the other side.
But deep in our hearts, most of us believe we know. And this belief colors our personalities, tweaks our sanity, and influences the way we interact with the world around us. A woman who believes that all that will remain of her after her death is a bunch of molecules will have a far different set of priorities than one who believes that, depending on whether she is a good or bad whatever, when she leaves this place of pain and sorrow she will live a life of either eternal bliss or eternal torment; and a very different outlook from someone who believes that she will have many lifetimes to get it right and when she does, she will have eternal bliss.
A friend of mine loves to tell the story about a Caucasian man he works with who is married to a Japanese woman. When he explained to his Buddhist mother in law that Christians believe that they only have one life and when they die they go straight to heaven or hell, she shook her head sadly and said, “No wonder they are always in such a crazy hurry.”
What someone believes happens when he dies and the way he prepares himself for death tells us more about that person than about the afterlife.
8 thoughts on “What Happens When You Die?”
Wonderful post, Chrissie. Really wonderful.
I think about this pretty regularly. I guess my take on this is that since none of us know what follows (for sure), we might as well choose what we would like it to be and then live our lives towards that end.
Chrissie and Ron,
I love both of your comments. Chrissie, I like that you said it is OK to admit our uncertainty about the afterlife. For a long time I felt certain I knew based on my religious tradition. Now I am no longer sure and have been struggling to determine what I do believe about death and the afterlife (see my blog at http://wp.me/p1SLbh-1). Your sensitive yet honest approach to it has helped me, I feel less urgency to come up with the “right” answer than I did before I read it.
Ron, you have simplified the issue in a way I’ve not seen anyone do before. It makes perfect sense. None of us does know what will happen when we die so why not grab onto to an explanation that makes sense to us and live in accordance with that belief. This is the kind of insight I have been looking for on my journey.
Thanks to both of you.
Glad to have helped.
I agree with Ron.
We need to look at our own experiences of life and death and those of folks you trust and come up with a set of beliefs that agrees with what facts there are about the subject, goes along with all the half formed guesses and hunches we have, and, most importantly, makes us happy.
You may be interested in my next series of posts on the tarot Death card.
Exactly!
We create our own reality.
When I read about near death experiences it totally fascinates me that Christians see Christ or their concept of heaven, Buddhists see Buddha, and I’m sure Viking warriors with near death experiences feasted with Thor in Valhalla.
And besides, why not believe something that makes your heart sing?
Wonderful post, Chrissie. Really wonderful.
I think about this pretty regularly. I guess my take on this is that since none of us know what follows (for sure), we might as well choose what we would like it to be and then live our lives towards that end.
Chrissie and Ron,
I love both of your comments. Chrissie, I like that you said it is OK to admit our uncertainty about the afterlife. For a long time I felt certain I knew based on my religious tradition. Now I am no longer sure and have been struggling to determine what I do believe about death and the afterlife (see my blog at http://wp.me/p1SLbh-1). Your sensitive yet honest approach to it has helped me, I feel less urgency to come up with the “right” answer than I did before I read it.
Ron, you have simplified the issue in a way I’ve not seen anyone do before. It makes perfect sense. None of us does know what will happen when we die so why not grab onto to an explanation that makes sense to us and live in accordance with that belief. This is the kind of insight I have been looking for on my journey.
Thanks to both of you.
Glad to have helped.
I agree with Ron.
We need to look at our own experiences of life and death and those of folks you trust and come up with a set of beliefs that agrees with what facts there are about the subject, goes along with all the half formed guesses and hunches we have, and, most importantly, makes us happy.
You may be interested in my next series of posts on the tarot Death card.
Exactly!
We create our own reality.
When I read about near death experiences it totally fascinates me that Christians see Christ or their concept of heaven, Buddhists see Buddha, and I’m sure Viking warriors with near death experiences feasted with Thor in Valhalla.
And besides, why not believe something that makes your heart sing?