He Who Sups with the Devil Should Have a Long Spoon

We all sup with the Devil daily. He is Lord of the Material Realm and we are partially material beings. We require food, water, air and shelter from his kingdom to remain alive. And he is constantly tempting us to take more. We buy the most expensive homes and cars we possibly can and shop for the best furniture, food and clothing.

“Go ahead,” he says, “Enjoy your life. The more you have the happier you will be.”

And yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Father of Lies is telling you the truth. A 2008 Princeton University study by Angus Deaton says so. And here’s the graph:

It looks confusing, but once you get the hang of reading it, it’s quite fascinating. The vertical axis is a life satisfaction scale—the higher the number, the more satisfaction with life. The horizontal axis is the average household income (GDP, gross domestic product) of each country adjusted for buying power. Each country is represented by a circle, the bigger the circle the larger the population.

It’s obvious. The more money you have the happier you are.

But wait a minute, you say. What’s going on with Venezuela and Denmark? And would those poor souls in Chad, Berun, and Togo be a bit more content if they didn’t know how much people in other parts of the world have? Is their dissatisfaction due to envy? It’s a possibility. A good friend of mine was raised in the country and has fond memories of her childhood. Her father was the sheriff of a small town and made next to nothing. Her mother had to work in a factory cleaning fish for two years to pay for her daughter’s life-saving tonsillectomy. They grew most of their food and made most of their clothes. The kids didn’t watch a lot of TV back then (I’m not sure they had one) and had no idea how the rest of the country lived. When her mom started nagging her sister to apply for college grants her sister replied, “Those are for poor people.”

As it turns out, a more recent (2010) Princeton University study shows that Devil was only telling us a half truth. There is a difference between life satisfaction, which was measured in the previous study, and emotional well being. To determine life satisfaction a pollster asks questions like, “On a scale of zero to ten, with zero being the worst possible life you can imagine, how would you rate your life.” Envy and the desire to “keep up with the Jonses”, two emotions that make Old Nick’s cold heart sing, could easily influence life satisfaction.

To determine emotional well being pollsters ask questions like how much sleep are you getting? On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your stress level yesterday? Last week? Did you have a headache yesterday? Last week? How much time did you spend socializing with friends and family yesterday? Last week? When they correlate the answers to these sorts of questions to household income, a different picture emerges. Emotional well being does indeed increase with income, but only up to ~$75,000. After that figure is reached, there is no increase in emotional well being. As their income increases above this figure, the wealthy become more satisfied with their financial success and their ability to buy more and more stuff, but they still have just as many day to day stresses and worries as the middle class does.

In most US cities today a $75, 000 annual income for a household of 2 adults and 2 children just covers the necessities of a decent home, maybe two cars, healthcare, food, clothing, entertainment, and maybe a bit left over to put in savings. So, according to this study, once your needs are comfortably met, you have as much emotional well being as you’ll ever have. If you are not content, you need to look for other reasons besides lack of funds. Do you like your job? Is there a place in your life for creative expression? Are your friends supportive and fun to be with? Are you getting enough exercise? Is there something you’ve always wanted or needed to do but never done? Finding solutions to these questions will bring about emotional well being, not more money.

But the Devil has no trouble convincing us that money is the answer. He appeals to the goal loving, can-do Capricorn in each of us and says, “If you just had that cool, red Mustang you’d be happy.” Or a nicer home in a better neighborhood, or a bigger diamond for your wedding ring, or a new boyfriend. So you buy the Mustang and after awhile the coolness wears off and it becomes just a car. So you buy a BMW which in turn will loose its thrill. The more you have, the more you want.

It’s an obvious trap. You’d think we’d figure it out. Those chains around the necks of the two figures in the tarot card look like they’d be easy to slip off. But we’re seldom able to do this. How come? I’m not a psychologist, but my own experiences, conversations with friends, and research on the subject suggest that there are at least two reasons.

 The first is emptiness.

I’m not talking loneliness here. You can be surrounded by friends and family and still be empty. Emptiness feels like you’re a thin brittle shell with nothing inside. Some say it feels like you’re suffocating, drowning and reaching up toward the surface of the water toward help but never getting there. It feels like you have no connection to anything, cut off from the world around you. Like you’re a void that nothing and nobody can fill, but you keep trying anyway.

Carl Jung believed that this feeling was due to being cut off from your soul, which is your link to the worlds beyond the material world. These are the realms of spirit and the divine and are as necessary to us as food and drink. As Jung says, “He who possesses the world, but not its image, possess only half the world. If he does not find his soul, the horror of emptiness will overcome him. My friends, it is wise to nourish the soul, otherwise you will breed devils and dragons.”

 The second is fear.

The world is a scary place. Anything can happen and nothing is certain. When Yoda tells Luke Skywalker about all the dangers he will face, Luke says, “I’m not afraid.” To which Yoda replies, “You will be.”

But this is a different kind of fear. On the surface it seems totally rational, but it really isn’t. It is the fear that there won’t be enough.

Enough what?
 Enough money for retirement
 Enough money to cover all the medical bills that you may incur in your lifetime
 Enough money to buy ( fill in the blank ) so that you’ll feel valuable and your friends and family will value you
 Enough money to keep a basement stocked with food and water in case of ( fill in the blank )
Take your pick.

This fear is irrational because no matter how much money you make and how many healthcare policies, insurance policies, shoes, or packages of food you buy, there never seems to be enough; and you are still afraid.

So how do you get rid of the emptiness and fear?
Remember that doing something is always better than having something.
 Spend your money on things to do. If you travel, the knowledge, insights, and happy memories will always be with you. If you buy a camera or a bike use them. Improve your skills and stamina, join clubs to meet other photographers or bikers, go on outings with them. This way the thing you buy keeps on giving you pleasure and won’t sit collecting dust in the closet when the novelty wears off.
 Challenge yourself. Buy a tennis racket or ballroom dancing lessons. Whatever strikes your fancy. But work at becoming the best tennis player or dancer that you can be. The effort and accomplishment will bring you joy.
 Volunteer at an organization or for a cause that you believe in. The more you give, the more you receive. Really.
 Sing and laugh
 Practice gratitude. Remind yourself every day of all the blessings in your life.
 Reach out to friends and family for support. Talk to them about what you’re feeling.
 Let go of friends that drain your energy and find new ones that support you and bring you joy.
 Practice yoga or some other form of exercise/spirituality.
 If none of these strategies work for you, seek professional help. It could save your life.

If the Devil exixts at all, he exists as a metaphor for emptiness and fear. These emotions keep us trapped in the material, unable and afraid to embrace the nurturing divinity that permeates and surrounds us.